( prax feels bad for doing this, he really does — but mei's sick and he doesn't want to leave her alone, but they're almost out of, well. anything edible. especially orange juice and eggs and he needs more eggs to make more pancakes for her because sick days mean pancakes.
mei's just fallen asleep, so he quickly makes the trip across the hall to his neighbour's door. his neighbour who is broad-shouldered and former military, who looks at the world like he's expecting it to harm him at every turn, like he's ready to hurt it back. he scares prax, a little, but beyond that, he's also really attracted to the man. it's not a helpful combination and he's sure nothing will ever come from it, but here he is.
[ Amos wasn't expecting any visitors. It's one of these days - honestly, most days are one of these days - where he's just a little off schedule and it's making him feel slightly unbalanced. And now, with this knock on the door...
He sighs, rubbing a towel over his face and head before looping it around his neck and walking over to the door, not caring much that he's wearing sweatpants and a tank top drenched in sweat; whoever it is deserves it for disrupting his workout. A quick look through the peephole tells him that it's his neighbor, and a wave of - relief? It might be relief, floods through Amos.
Okay. He can do this. And so he opens the door, leaning against the door frame, trying his best to look as nonchalant as he doesn't feel. ]
( prax doesn't expect amos to look the way he does. he has to swallow and clear his throat before he can answer, keeping his eyes firmly on amos' face rather than checking out those arms or what he can see of amos' chest. he catches the flash of a tattoo or several and doesn't look further. that's not what this is about. that's not what this is ever about. )
Yeah. I mean, mostly. Mei's sick. She'll be all right, it's nothing major, but I don't really want to leave her alone for more than a minute and I'm out of groceries.
( breathe, meng. )
I guess I was wondering if you were going to go to the store any time soon and if you'd mind getting some stuff but — you're busy. I'm sorry.
[ Amos interrupts Prax halfway through his rambling, already able to tell where it is going. No, I'm sorry, nevermind, I didn't mean to bother you, something like that.
But that's not taking into account how much Amos likes the two of them - Mei is sweet, curious and well-behaved and sweet, and Prax, is, well. Nice and polite and quiet and as hot as a thousand suns. So it's not exactly a hardship for Amos to agree to help them. ]
( mei is sweet and curious and well-behaved and prax wants to give her the world every day. he hates that she's sick and that there's little he can do to make it better, but she barely complains. it makes him all the more grateful for how easily and quickly amos says he doesn't mind. )
Thank you.
( the words come out in a rush of relief. )
Eggs and milk, mostly. And chocolate sprinkles, if they have any. ( and on a whim, he adds: ) And whatever you like on pancakes, if you want. Sick days mean pancake days.
( he puts mei to bed and gives her the teddy bear he's been carrying around since ganymede. he watches her sleep for minutes and he thinks he could have watched her sleep for hours. he goes to help amos with the other kids instead and it isn't until they're all asleep in various bunks that he lets himself consider the enormity of everything that happened.
he's got mei back. that's the most important thing. he's got mei back. but he can't pretend that it's the only thing that matters. the hybrids that were launched. mars, earth, the war. the belt. amos. almost shooting strickland and amos actually shooting strickland.
you're not that guy.
he finds himself in front of amos' bunk and then inside the room, in front of amos, reaching for amos, hands fisting in the material of amos' jumpsuit. he doesn't remember walking here, but here he is. quietly coming apart. shaking.
it's joy and it's adrenaline and it's fear and horror. it's all too much. )
[ Amos takes care of the kids because it's what he feels he should be doing. The others are busy, and these kids need to eat, need to be put to bed, need to be told they're okay. He'd tell them they're on their way back to their families, if he believed they actually were, or even had some left. Not all of them were as lucky as Mei.
So he does it, and doesn't even think about it. He accepts Prax's help, too, lets him tuck kids in like it's his job. He doesn't think about that, either. If he's thinking of anything, it's how relieved he is that Prax didn't have to do the hard thing. Could just be a botanist, a father, a good man. Everything Amos isn't.
He's lying in bed when Prax walks in, grabs him by the front of his jumpsuit, pulls him up to sit. Amos follows easily, a hand curling over Prax's back. ]
prax shakes his head. then he nods. smiles. shakes his head again and closes his eyes and drops his head forward, almost far enough down that it rests against amos' shoulder. )
I don't know.
( he doesn't know anything, right now, but amos' presence feels steadying as always. )
[ Amos dry-swallows, his hand opening, flat on Prax's back. He breathes through his nose for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Prax isn't that guy, he isn't, but Amos believes he would have done it. ]
I know.
[ He does. But that's not what matters. ]
But you didn't. You don't need that blood on your hands.
( amos' hand flattens out on his back and prax tips forward further, forehead hitting amos' shoulder. it's an awkward position, him folded in half before amos, mostly standing, leaning against the bed frame, holding on. he doesn't even notice. )
Thank you.
( he's not sure what he means. for stopping him? or for shooting strickland in his stead? amos shouldn't have to do that for him, but prax can't help but be impossibly and selfishly glad that he did. )
( they're planetside. it's the first time in prax's life that he's set foot on any planet at all, much less earth, but here they are. they're on earth. the gravity feels heavy and the sun is bright and he feels a little sick. mei's handling it better than him, only hiding behind his leg when they're greeted by the dignitaries from the un that want a full report on the hybrids and everything they've seen. prax finds himself glad for amos' steady presence by his side because he's not sure he wouldn't have thrown up otherwise.
they're given rooms and time to acclimatise and then there are debriefings and there's time spent with mei. he gets to show her the ocean and look at it in as much wonder as his daughter and he's shown a beautiful garden, there's an elaborate dinner and there are drinks, but eventually exhaustion takes over for everyone, especially mei.
he tucks her into bed, but everything's too much still for him to go to sleep. too many impressions, too many emotions. he finds himself out on the balcony of his room, one that's joined with amos' balcony. he's glad amos has the room next to him, that holden's opposite the hall. )
[ Amos, honestly, hates everything about this. During the debriefs he sits with his chair backed from the table, his arms crossed over his chest. He avoids the dinners and the mingling and everything that doesn't involve shadowing Holden and Prax and keeping an eye out for their surroundings. He longs to be off Earth the moment he steps off the transport, the gravity feeling strange even to him now, after so long away from it. He keeps a hand to Prax's back and one hovering around Mei's head when they walk, their gait a little funny at first as they get used to 1g. He keeps a step behind at all times and only talks when spoken to.
He hates everything about it, until it gets to night, and he's able to see the stars, even though the pollution cloud makes them so much less bright than he knows them to be. He steps onto his balcony when all is said and done, only to find Prax there, looking up at the sky himself. Amos lets out a sigh of relief. They're probably under surveillance, even here and now in the 'privacy' of their rooms, but he doesn't care. ]
( prax has no reason yet to hate it, though the tension in amos' body makes him a little nervous as well, makes him want to look over his shoulder and make sure there's no threat coming. he trusts amos to do that instead. he has enough to do with keeping himself upright, with putting one foot in front of the other, with helping mei do the same.
it's strange, but for the most part, it isn't bad. it's a curious thing. but he's still glad to find amos step up next to him. )
Hi. ( responds, voice soft and the line of his shoulders relaxed. ) It's a lot, but I think I'm getting the hang of walking, at least. ( he turns his head to smile at amos. )
[ It's not because Amos isn't that Prax shouldn't. This is a first for him, and he should be making the most of it. Turning up to look at the stars, Amos breathes out softly. ]
Never thought I'd see them another way, when I was a kid. Now, looking at them from this angle feels weird. Wrong.
I don't know. I think so. ( it's a lot to take in and he hasn't had the time yet to be still and sort through all these new impressions to figure out whether he's enjoying them. what he enjoys is seeing mei excited. what he enjoys are the stars. what he enjoys is amos next to him, too. )
[ It takes her some time and reading of the network to connect the emotional guy she spoke to with the author of the advice for living in space post. But she'd meant to check up on the former, and him being the latter means she at least has a reason to say hi beyond how are you feeeeeeeeling? ]
New-ish. I showed up the same day everyone was going at the door. From what I've read, you're one of the few people who's prepared to handle living in space.
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no.
because every time i'd see you i'd want to fall on my knees and lick your stomach and it was hard enough not doing that before?
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are you saying you've been wanting to lick me for a while, Jonathan?
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you're attractive.
and i'm a red blooded male.
would you like me to?
because maybe that can be arranged.
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hopefully you'd only start with the stomach
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hit up the erogenous zones.
it depends.
i can also just skip ahead and swallow you down if you're in a hurry.
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there's never a reason to rush, in my opinion
so you can take all the time you want
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mei's just fallen asleep, so he quickly makes the trip across the hall to his neighbour's door. his neighbour who is broad-shouldered and former military, who looks at the world like he's expecting it to harm him at every turn, like he's ready to hurt it back. he scares prax, a little, but beyond that, he's also really attracted to the man. it's not a helpful combination and he's sure nothing will ever come from it, but here he is.
knocking on amos burton's door. )
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He sighs, rubbing a towel over his face and head before looping it around his neck and walking over to the door, not caring much that he's wearing sweatpants and a tank top drenched in sweat; whoever it is deserves it for disrupting his workout. A quick look through the peephole tells him that it's his neighbor, and a wave of - relief? It might be relief, floods through Amos.
Okay. He can do this. And so he opens the door, leaning against the door frame, trying his best to look as nonchalant as he doesn't feel. ]
Hi, Doc. Everything okay?
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Yeah. I mean, mostly. Mei's sick. She'll be all right, it's nothing major, but I don't really want to leave her alone for more than a minute and I'm out of groceries.
( breathe, meng. )
I guess I was wondering if you were going to go to the store any time soon and if you'd mind getting some stuff but — you're busy. I'm sorry.
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[ Amos interrupts Prax halfway through his rambling, already able to tell where it is going. No, I'm sorry, nevermind, I didn't mean to bother you, something like that.
But that's not taking into account how much Amos likes the two of them - Mei is sweet, curious and well-behaved and sweet, and Prax, is, well. Nice and polite and quiet and as hot as a thousand suns. So it's not exactly a hardship for Amos to agree to help them. ]
What do you need?
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Thank you.
( the words come out in a rush of relief. )
Eggs and milk, mostly. And chocolate sprinkles, if they have any. ( and on a whim, he adds: ) And whatever you like on pancakes, if you want. Sick days mean pancake days.
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His fingers hold on to the door a little tighter when Prax sort of invites him along. ]
Oh, thanks, but - you don't have to. You don't need a guest on top of a sick kid.
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he's got mei back. that's the most important thing. he's got mei back. but he can't pretend that it's the only thing that matters. the hybrids that were launched. mars, earth, the war. the belt. amos. almost shooting strickland and amos actually shooting strickland.
you're not that guy.
he finds himself in front of amos' bunk and then inside the room, in front of amos, reaching for amos, hands fisting in the material of amos' jumpsuit. he doesn't remember walking here, but here he is. quietly coming apart. shaking.
it's joy and it's adrenaline and it's fear and horror. it's all too much. )
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So he does it, and doesn't even think about it. He accepts Prax's help, too, lets him tuck kids in like it's his job. He doesn't think about that, either. If he's thinking of anything, it's how relieved he is that Prax didn't have to do the hard thing. Could just be a botanist, a father, a good man. Everything Amos isn't.
He's lying in bed when Prax walks in, grabs him by the front of his jumpsuit, pulls him up to sit. Amos follows easily, a hand curling over Prax's back. ]
Are you okay?
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prax shakes his head. then he nods. smiles. shakes his head again and closes his eyes and drops his head forward, almost far enough down that it rests against amos' shoulder. )
I don't know.
( he doesn't know anything, right now, but amos' presence feels steadying as always. )
I would've shot him.
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I know.
[ He does. But that's not what matters. ]
But you didn't. You don't need that blood on your hands.
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Thank you.
( he's not sure what he means. for stopping him? or for shooting strickland in his stead? amos shouldn't have to do that for him, but prax can't help but be impossibly and selfishly glad that he did. )
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they're given rooms and time to acclimatise and then there are debriefings and there's time spent with mei. he gets to show her the ocean and look at it in as much wonder as his daughter and he's shown a beautiful garden, there's an elaborate dinner and there are drinks, but eventually exhaustion takes over for everyone, especially mei.
he tucks her into bed, but everything's too much still for him to go to sleep. too many impressions, too many emotions. he finds himself out on the balcony of his room, one that's joined with amos' balcony. he's glad amos has the room next to him, that holden's opposite the hall. )
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He hates everything about it, until it gets to night, and he's able to see the stars, even though the pollution cloud makes them so much less bright than he knows them to be. He steps onto his balcony when all is said and done, only to find Prax there, looking up at the sky himself. Amos lets out a sigh of relief. They're probably under surveillance, even here and now in the 'privacy' of their rooms, but he doesn't care. ]
Hey. How you handling it?
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it's strange, but for the most part, it isn't bad. it's a curious thing. but he's still glad to find amos step up next to him. )
Hi. ( responds, voice soft and the line of his shoulders relaxed. ) It's a lot, but I think I'm getting the hang of walking, at least. ( he turns his head to smile at amos. )
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[ It's not because Amos isn't that Prax shouldn't. This is a first for him, and he should be making the most of it. Turning up to look at the stars, Amos breathes out softly. ]
Never thought I'd see them another way, when I was a kid. Now, looking at them from this angle feels weird. Wrong.
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Right now, I am.
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text; @dreamer
Any tips for sleeping in the boots?
[ Shit is super heavy. ]
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[ Aka, no.
He's not seen this username around before. ]
you new?
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New-ish. I showed up the same day everyone was going at the door. From what I've read, you're one of the few people who's prepared to handle living in space.