( it helps. it doesn't solve anything, but it helps a little to let it out. to give an outlet to the desperate fear that's been sitting in his chest, sinking its claws into his heart and his mind and pulling chunks of flesh from him. it doesn't make it go away, but it makes it — smaller. more manageable, maybe.
he doesn't feel judged with amos. amos knows he's felt almost relieved when he thought for sure that mei was dead. that he's a terrible father because he can't fix his little girl's illness, can't offer her the life she should have. amos knows, and amos is still here, holding him, letting him cry.
he doesn't know how long it is until amos speaks again. some time after prax's sobs have turned into hiccups have turned into quiet sniffles. his head hurts, but his chest feels lighter. )
Thank you. ( it's the only thing he can think to say. thank you for believing in him when he can't believe in himself. for thinking that he's stronger than he is. for holding him. for being there.
he can't bring himself to move away from amos just yet, even though he knows he should. )
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he doesn't feel judged with amos. amos knows he's felt almost relieved when he thought for sure that mei was dead. that he's a terrible father because he can't fix his little girl's illness, can't offer her the life she should have. amos knows, and amos is still here, holding him, letting him cry.
he doesn't know how long it is until amos speaks again. some time after prax's sobs have turned into hiccups have turned into quiet sniffles. his head hurts, but his chest feels lighter. )
Thank you. ( it's the only thing he can think to say. thank you for believing in him when he can't believe in himself. for thinking that he's stronger than he is. for holding him. for being there.
he can't bring himself to move away from amos just yet, even though he knows he should. )